I’m embarrassed, but I need your help #please… I have a possible tumor and my insurance isn’t helping

I don’t do this often and the few times I have asked for help, I’ve never gotten very far. But I need to try because I don’t know what else to do.

I suppose this is a long rant about what’s going on with me and my life these days. I try to keep it quiet and distract myself with pretty things, but sometimes I need to let it out. And maybe you can find it in your heart to get through this and help me in some way. Anyway.

There are too many things going on. Too many things.  No one I know has money they can lend or just gift me. I have no money. My family of 3 lives off of $17k a year. I honestly don’t know how we make it.

Health insurance is denying my claims. I can’t pay my medical bills. I need a ct scan bc I have a tumour that may need chemotherapy (according to a resident at John Hopkins) and I can’t afford any of it. It may not need chemo or radiation. It could be nothing. It could be outright removed (even though we’ve removed it twice already) but I’ll never know until it’s too late, if I can’t get this ct scan.

I practically live on my asthma inhaler and I often wonder if I can even afford to “waste” another huff of it. My asthma isn’t bad enough to kill me or anything like that, just bad enough to torture me every day and send me to urgent care with the occasional asthma attack that requires being hooked up to a breathing machine.

I got put on prednisone. The side effects are weight gain, fatigue, foggy thoughts, pain, nausea and just about everything I don’t need right now, or ever.

My phone is dying a little more every day. I can’t make or receive phone calls or texts and data anything doesn’t work. I can only use it when I’m home and connected to wifi. It turns off randomly. Freezes. Even when at home, it can take forever for it to do anything. Battery life is an hour at rest if I’m lucky.

My mom’s car is busted. That was our only source of transportation and now that’s gone. We can’t afford to fix it. The closest bus stop is 5 miles away on the highway with no sidewalks. I can’t walk there bc I have nerve damage so severe that I’m on meds galore and still can’t walk longer than 15 minutes. And sometimes the pain is so bad that I can’t walk at all.

I have nothing in my name other than debt. What are these bill collectors going to take away from me? I don’t have wages to garnish. What do they want? I have nothing to give them. If I could dissect this tumour myself, I would maybe sell it to science or some weirdo on Craigslist. That could make some money, maybe.

Nothing is right or even close to it. Even if after 4 years of unemployment someone does want to hire me or even interview me, how would I get there? How do they call me? Even that doesn’t work out right.

I’m stuck and I need help getting unstuck. I’m so embarrassed to even be asking, but I really don’t know what else to do.

If you can find it in your heart to maybe throw a few bucks my way, I’d be so insanely and forever grateful. Maybe you can pass this along to a friend?

Thank you.

Peace and Pistachios,

Heba

xoxo

 

paypal.me/hebavsreason

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It’s in my DNA

Hello Folks!

As a Palestinian, I always imagined that my ancestral history was coloured with the many territorial conquests of what is often defined as the Middle East. I’ve always wanted to do one of those DNA tests that tell you where you’re “really from.” But those things can be quite pricey and anyone who knows me knows that I’m living on a pinch these days. Now, somehow, don’t ask me how because I don’t remember, I found out about this free study called Genes for Good that is being done through the University of Michigan. I filled out a couple of surveys and questionnaires about myself and they sent me a spit kit. It was kind of icky, but I got through the spit kit experience and mailed my sample in. Being a free test and all, they did warn me that it would take months to get my results back. There are tons of participants, so it only makes sense. You can’t argue with free, am I right? This week, I finally got my results. The results are a tad general and I’d be interested to get some more specific results, but I’m satisfied and intrigued to learn more about my history.

Here I am. This is me:

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I did have the option to request the raw data, which I did. I received it, and while they did give me some instructions on how to read it, I can’t seem to make sense of it. Maybe I can learn more about myself through this raw data, but I could use some help trying to break it down. Any suggestion? Drop me a line at heba@dartmouth.edu if you have any grand ideas or some user-friendly data software suggestions.

Or just get in touch because now that you know a little about me, it’d be cool to learn a little about you too.

Peace and Pistachios,

Heba

 

Because apparently, you can’t have too many versions of a CV

Writer copy

Writer

Heba Issa (1)

Heba Issa copy 3

Heba Issa copy 5

Messing About with the Many #Canva #Resume #Template

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issa

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your universal super power #numerology what a bunch of baloney!

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1ee2c97397c740468aa62a12eabd6830What if I told you that you hold the universal super power of anticipating life-altering encounters with strangers… tapping into your unlimited abundance frequency… predicting upcoming challenges and lucrative opportunities… and following through on your BIG goals without any hesitation or uncertainty…How? You might be wondering…

  • Because you have access to a secret weapon that most don’t know about: Numerology.

    You’d be amazed at the shockingly accurate and revealing information that can be deciphered from nothing more than your name and date of birth.

    But don’t take my word for it.

    Get your free personalized Numerology Reading here.

    With it, you’ll discover:

    This means no more wasted time on goals that don’t stick, no more surprise let-downs, and a fast-track ticket to your decoding your ultimate destiny.

    Make this your best year yet with potent and precise wisdom that you won’t find anywhere else.

    (I was skeptical too, at first. But when I got my free reading I was blown away at how accurate it was. I think you’ll find the same).

    Enjoy

     

    P.S. Warning: you’ll find some highly intimate and personal information in this reading.

    >>> So proceed with caution and an open mind.

 

 

 

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An entirely flawed system

So I just found out that NJ is cutting off my food stamps because I’m considered able-bodied. Food stamps has literally been the only thing feeding my family right now and the only way for me to continue getting food stamps is if I go to a 20 hour a week work program. I tried to go to the program and had to make an appointment for orientation months ago and they were so mean and dismissive of me. They wanted me to miss my doctor appointment to go to their orientation and I told them I couldn’t miss it. I was sick, I needed to see a doctor. So they wouldn’t schedule me for another day and that was that.

I can get out of the requirement if I’m caring for someone in my family, which I am, my mother who has been unwell. But why is she unwell, because without warning her health insurance was terminated because she was deemed to make too much money. My mom makes $800 a month from alimony payments. That’s it! How is that too much money? Because she doesn’t have health insurance, she can’t afford her meds and hence has not been the greatest lately. The only way to prove that I’m caring for my mother is if she gets evaluated by a doctor and deemed disabled. Again, something we cannot afford. And if she never had her insurance terminated to begin with, she’d have her meds and she wouldn’t need someone to look after her.  It’s a flawed system and I’m so embarrassed and sad and scared. I don’t know how to feed my family.

I’ve been trying to get a job for a year and a half now with no luck. I have a BA and two MAs. I’m clearly educated and should be capable of getting a job but no one wants to give me a chance despite my 10 years of experience. I really don’t know what to do. I really hate to ask, but I need help. I haven’t paid my credit cards off, we’re charging everything on credit and I’ve reached my credit limit. We’re not using the heat even though it’s so cold, bc we can’t afford to make the payment. I don’t have a cell phone line because we can’t afford it. How is my family going to eat? What am I supposed to do? Like we can’t even afford to pay rent this month. Literally, I have no idea what to do or how to keep us from being hungry and homeless. And I could kick myself for ending up in this situation.

I keep trying to crawl us out of this hole, but I keep failing.

This is so embarrassing, but I need help and I don’t know where to turn. I’m so embarrassed to ask and hate myself for getting to this point. If you could spare anything, even just $1, I would appreciate it so much. https://www.paypal.me/hebavsreason I swear, I’ll never forget your generosity and 100% promise to pay it forward. I’m just so scared and so unsure of how to make ends meet. I’m so embarrassed and I’m so sorry for asking. Maybe you could pass this around, reblog it. Any help would be so important and I’d be so thankful.

What do you know?

List 10 weird facts about yourself and ask your readers to do the same thing.

  1. I like really bad movies. I like to watch super cliche movies- I think they are hilarious.
  2. I’ve had more jobs that I can count. I’m just looking for my place in this world.
  3. I would rather be an animal than a human. Like a cat, an elephant, dolphin, ape, camel, donkey.
  4. I watch more TV and movies than anyone ever should.
  5. I’m a writer, but I fear rejection so much that I’m often afraid to put what I have in my head on paper.
  6. I’m pretty observant. I notice things that I’m told most don’t notice.
  7. I like to wear dresses because I have a hard time finding jeans, pants/trousers that fit my hips, butt and thighs perfectly.
  8. I can never decide whether I want my hair long or short, straight or curly.
  9. I despise injustice, lies,  ignorance, bigots, racists, propaganda and people who believe ignorant and bigoted media.
  10. I have a fear of geese and swans. Ducks- I’m usually okay with, but they make me uneasy.

50 Bucket List Goals

What’s on your bucket list?

I have an ever long and ever changing/shifting bucket list. And it seems fitting to reassess my life goals in light of the new year. Here are just a few wants on my list. Some are simple, some are more challenging.

  1. Have my book published

    book
    http://cdn.toptenreviews.com/rev/site/cms/category_headers/121-h_main-w.png
  2. Write another book 

    download
    http://www.mycity-web.com/great-tips-for-writing-a-book/
  3. Get funding for a PhD

    phd1
    http://blog.accepted.com/2015/05/22/phd-funding-disparities/
  4. Get into a PhD program that is right for me

    phd061814s
    https://techknowtools.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/phd061814s.gif
  5. Learn to surf

    Lakshadweep-1680
    http://i.cdn-surfline.com/surfnews/images/2012/03_march/destination_lakshadweep/full/Lakshadweep-1680.jpg
  6. Get healthy

    healthy-habits
    http://promobiledj.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/healthy-habits.jpg
  7. Go to a dinosaur museum

    triceratops
    http://www.fossilmuseum.net/DinosaurFossils/triceratops/triceratops.jpg
  8. Be an extra in a movie or show

    images
    http://www.actt.edu.au/media/1138/actt_difference_desktop.jpg
  9. Learn to spearfish

    spearFishing
    http://watercraftjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/spearFishing.jpg
  10. Own a home and piece of land where I can have lots and lots of animals like donkeys, horses, llamas, lambs, dogs, cows and more.

    images
    http://www.hallmark-farm-kennel.com/HallmarkFarmHouse.jpg
  11. Adopt and/or foster children tulsa-adoption-attorney
  12. Get a job that allows me to travel and pay off my student loans

    jobs-travelling-business-man-move
    http://globetrooper.com/notes/wp-content/uploads/jobs-travelling-business-man-move.jpg
  13. Get lasik

    Lasik-Procedure
    http://qualityicare.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Lasik-Procedure.png
  14. Get laser hair removal

    http://zoggdermatology.com/images/laserhairremovalstages.jpg
    The laser emits an invisible light which penetrates the skin without damaging it. At the hair follicle, the laser light absorbed by the pigments is converted into heat. This heat will damage the follicle.
  15. Start a nonprofit

    foundations_a_sm1
    http://boardsthatexcel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/foundations_a_sm1.gif
  16. Take horseback riding lessons

    Horse_riding_in_coca_cola_arena_-_melbourne_show_2005
    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fa/Horse_riding_in_coca_cola_arena_-_melbourne_show_2005.jpg
  17. Have friends

    friends-for-life
    http://www.newlovetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/friends-for-life.gif
  18. Become more flexible

    extreme-flexibility-people-32_thumb
    http://lh3.ggpht.com/-M1Of3Z1Vg_U/UHaxA469Y3I/AAAAAAAC6Bo/4isPqvUU9F4/extreme-flexibility-people-32_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800
  19. Fly first class

    Etihad_first_class_bed
    http://www.first-class-flight.com/images/first-class-insights/Etihad_first_class_bed.jpg
  20. Make someone’s wish come true d760991e995d83172de94452f2319e06
  21. Go cliff jumping Woman_cliffjumping_3307605b
  22. Hang out by a serene waterfall

    images
    http://7-themes.com/data_images/out/71/7014890-beautiful-waterfall-hd-pics.jpg
  23. Name a star dCVnPp3
  24. Have my own private plane and/or helicopter

    Private-Jet1
    http://site.privatejetdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Private-Jet1.jpg
  25. Be in the fashion industry

    fashion
    http://reallifeauckland.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/fashion.jpg
  26. Learn to dive

    Diving_into_pool
    http://www.basicspine.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/Diving_into_pool.jpg
  27. Go scuba diving

    Scubadiving.png
    http://d236bkdxj385sg.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Scubadiving.png
  28. Befriend an elephant

    Twins
    Twins https://iso.500px.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/2048-5.jpg
  29. Have one of my plays produced

    william-chang-cheongsam-designs-for-theater-play-2
    http://www.elegantstory.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/william-chang-cheongsam-designs-for-theater-play-2.jpeg
  30. Have someone illustrate a comic book based off of one of my stories

    DARWYN-ORIGINAL-ART
    http://www.lightningoctopus.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/DARWYN-ORIGINAL-ART.jpg
  31. Have one of my stories turned into a film

    images (1)
    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQKJE7O1FQg2zWYPmN-kzI3IB5bPY9T6TuqRyyNK2fAK5Y58ZtBcQ
  32. Learn to draw

    http://orig04.deviantart.net/587b/f/2012/247/2/d/hand_drawing_hand_by_kenpjones-d5dl8kw.jpg
    http://orig04.deviantart.net/587b/f/2012/247/2/d/hand_drawing_hand_by_kenpjones-d5dl8kw.jpg
  33. Live in a castle

    download
    http://dreamatico.com/data_images/castle/castle-2.jpg
  34. Learn to sew

    blogdotcraftzine
    http://www.noellemunozjewelry.com/storage/blogdotcraftzine.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1331086348393
  35. Go Ziplining zipline-adventure-in-whistler-photo_7325314-fit468x296
  36. Publish a cookbook

    cookbook
    https://mathemagicalsite.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/cookbook.gif
  37. Own a car

    2014_bmw_x5_angularfront
    http://static.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/images/Auto/izmo/364333/2014_bmw_x5_angularfront.jpg
  38. Dance in the rain

    images
    http://www.sterlingsanders.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Sterling_Sanders_-_Dance_in_the_Rain.png
  39. Hang glide

    hanggliding1
    http://www.lakearrowhead.com/img/hanggliding1.jpg
  40. Go to a haunted house

    Haunted-House-HD-Wallpapers
    http://hdwallpapersbin.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Haunted-House-HD-Wallpapers.jpg
  41. Throw a themed party mall-birthday-party-1
  42. Go through a corn maze cornmaze2009
  43. Witness a miracle

    miracles-2
    https://fromthedeskofmardrag.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/miracles-2.jpg
  44. Take singing lessons

    how-to-sing-higher-notes1
    http://vocalartsstudios.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/how-to-sing-higher-notes1.jpg
  45. Take kickboxing lessons

    train
    http://www.myelitetraining.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/train.jpg
  46. Learn to knit

    shaun-knitting1-copy-1
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ryd7cNqmrOo/UBqBFijS2lI/AAAAAAAAAFE/e2jGlVXKl44/s1600/shaun-knitting1-copy-1.gif
  47. Learn to ride a bike

    bike-riding
    http://www.todayifoundout.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/bike-riding.jpg
  48. Go parachuting

    canstock6172634
    http://cdn.xl.thumbs.canstockphoto.com/canstock6172634.jpg
  49. Swim with dolphins

    Megan-Dolphin
    http://havebabywilltravel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Megan-Dolphin.jpg
  50. Meet Harry Styles, cut off some of his hair and sell it on ebay for millions so I can afford to fund my bucket list.  harry-styles-loud-shirt-coffee-los-angeles

 

https://www.paypal.me/hebavsreason

Wish List

 

#LoveMe Challenge: Day 6

Day 6

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Dear Future Me:

I’ve always said my 5-year plan is to  either run it or run from it. So if you run it, I hope you run it well, with humility, sincerity, strength and passion. If you run from it, I hope you ran far away and are living among beautiful animals in some beautiful scenery. Either way, I want you to be healthy, both in mind and body. Hopefully by some indeterminate time in the future, your student loans will be paid off and you’ll have done some good for and with others. And if you haven’t, it’s cool, just do your best. That’s all I can ask for. Also, ALWAYS BE THANKFUL.

Peace and Pistachios,

Heba