The Five Stages of Job Rejection


1. Disbelief

Opening my email… That interview went really well… I bet I’ll get the job no problem… It was a freakin slam dunk… WHAT?! Good luck in my job search?! You know where you can stick your good luck!

2. You’re Missing Out S**theads!

You’ve got no idea who you just ignored! You will rue the day you didn’t hire me! I will take over the world and destroy you! You will ruuuuuuuue the day! Gaaaaah! *evil laugh

3. Nonchalance

Whatever. I don’t need them. I’m sure I’ve gotten plenty other job offers from people who appreciate my talents and profession. *Checks email

Well. S**t.

4. B***hing to Friends

5. I’ll Never Get a Job but I Have to Keep Looking

Why do I even want a job. Besides paying my bills. And I really love ice cream and Netflix. And I would never hear the end of…

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